Your most amusing support questions...

[MikeH]

I have a few apps in the market and sometimes get "interesting" support questions. Here`s a couple:

"I installed the app but it doesn`t find any of my photos"

After 12 hours of trying to help, asking to send screenshots, making suggestions etc I asked if the user had actually taken any photos. The answer: "Oh no, I use my other phone for that!"


This morning I got another cracker:

"I`ve installed your app but it doesn`t show on my iPhone. Not sure if you know where it could be as it says 'installed' in My Apps in Google Play. As the app developer, can you suggest anything?"

I replied with a very polite suggestion, though it wasn`t my first thought


Let`s hear yours

 

[sorex]

shame on you Mike, for not including an automatic cross platform unattended smart photo sync solution into your app!

 

[hookshy]

Was wondering if you could tell me how I get this app in English? I have installed and uninstalled it several times as I can't find a way to change it to English!!! It's very annoying :-(

Wendy

come on guys let's have some fun here

 

[andymc]

I used to work for Freeserve internet support in the UK. I got a great call one evening

"Hi, my girlfriend has been on holiday for the last week, she's getting back home tomorrow.... so anyway, I have a load of images I need to clear from my internet explorer history... how do I do that?"

 

[Lahksman]

Beste one I ever had back in the days that I worked in retail.

A customer came to buy an external 56k modem.
So i explained to them how they should set it up. I actually openen the box, took the modem out and showed them where each cable should be attached.

About 1 hour later one of my colleagues got a Phone call with a complaint about a modem they just bought. They installed it, but none of the leds would show. So me being in a good mood nudged my colleague and wispered 'Ask if the connected the power supply'. Well, he asked and the customer hung up.

We laughed non-stop for about 15 minutes

 

[Beja]

I remember these situations:
1- long time ago, I asked a customer about the capacity of his hard disk. he said it is 200 Megawatt.
2- I asked a customer about the Microsoft windows version in his machine.. he replied:
At this time we don't have any because the workload is not that much.. but later will buy Microsoft!!
he didn't say whether Bill Gates comes with it.
3- A customer asked me: do you want me to bring the computer or the hard disk? I told him to bring
the whole computer.. he came later carrying the CRT Monitor.

 

[MikeH]

I used to work in a computer store, back in the day of dot matrix and "golf ball" head printers

A middle aged woman came in, her attitude wasn`t very pleasant and she was eventually passed onto me because none of the other assistants understood what she was asking for.

She explained she was looking for a particular kind of printer that output a certain type of print, describing it in quite some detail. I asked her what she planned to do with it as I had figured exactly the kind she meant - the kind that the government uses to print driving licences, vehicle documents etc.

She became quite indignant when she realised I had her sussed, but nonetheless, was told she wouldn`t find that type of printer for sale to the public.

 

[IanMc]

I once got a call from a user saying that our application wouldn't print.
I was a programmer at the time but didn't have much to do and as the lady was only on the floor above us I went up to see what the problem was.

The problem was that she had input the wrong password three times into her PC and could not log in

No-wonder our app wouldn't print

I called the support guys and got her password reset for her.

 

[Jaames]

I have a few apps in the market and sometimes get "interesting" support questions. Here`s a couple:

"I installed the app but it doesn`t find any of my photos"

After 12 hours of trying to help, asking to send screenshots, making suggestions etc I asked if the user had actually taken any photos. The answer: "Oh no, I use my other phone for that!"


This morning I got another cracker:

"I`ve installed your app but it doesn`t show on my iPhone. Not sure if you know where it could be as it says 'installed' in My Apps in Google Play. As the app developer, can you suggest anything?"

I replied with a very polite suggestion, though it wasn`t my first thought


Let`s hear yours

LOL

I had a "Call of duty 4 - PC game" rcon app (for managing cod4 servers) on the market, and in the description as well as in the screen shots, it was clear that the app is not any kind of game, and the category on the market was "tools"

I had the comment, something like this : "Shame on you Activision, I tried to reinstall this game about 5 times, even tried on the other phone. But NOTHING! Game won't run! Just some screen with list of maps. 1 star from me because I can't give you -5! "

 

[Peter Simpson]

Okay, here is one for you. My Android app(on Google Play store) is a stand alone clock widget, nothing more nothing less. What really annoyed me was the fact that this person left my app 2 stars.

The user said and I quote:
"Tix Clock Install Only installed to my tablet. Wondering why it didn't see the other systems in my network or my Windows Phone, which is where I really wanted it in the first place. Sad face. Sad, Sad face. Actually, what I REALLY want is as many Clocks as Pirillo has in HIS office. THAT'S what I want! fox I'm not as technically knowledgeable as the developer, and either wasn't aware the app was android only or simply forgot. In either case, my review was not as much a review as it was a question, a wish and a bit of comedic humor thrown in for a bit of levity. However, by the programmer's response, my 'review' irritated him because I was on a sub intellectual par with him. So for my ignorance, I apologize to this programmer and kindly ask that he please accept my humble apology."

What a silly person:
He wants to install my Android app on his Windows phone and he wants my app to see other systems on his network. Is this guy crazy or what. My Android app is a simple clock widget and not a networking tool.

Leaving my app 2 stars feedback really did annoy me.

 

[sorex]

that's the bad part of today's software distribution models.

now they can critisize anything while in most cases it's their own stupidy that's the cause
and if you're out of luck that negative comment is the first thing a possible new user might see.

 

[Lahksman]

Indeed Sorex,
That's what we like to call a PEBKAC problem.

PEBKAC = Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair

 

[HotShoe]

Back in the dark ages of 20meg hard drives and floppy disks, I had a client call about a problem with an update. I asked her to make a copy of the disk and send it to me so I could see what had gone wrong. Mean while I mailed her another. A couple days later I got a letter sized manilla envelope in the mail. Inside I found copies (from a copy machine) of the front and back of the disk.

--- Jem

 

[udg]

Years ago I was on vacation on an island a few miles from the coast, happily helping some friends with their diving center..when the "emergency call" hit on me. No phone support, no excuses, just come back as soon as possible, any expenses payed. So I picked up a seat on the first leaving elycopter and rushed to the calling shop. When on the stariway to reach their office I accidentally put an hand on an extension power cable and found it really hot.. Well, that was the source of the problem! A badly secured power connection.
One last thing: it was my father's shop....sigh!

 

[JakeBullet70]

In the spirit of... The IT crowd... 'Have you turned it on and off again?'

If you have not seen the BBC show 'The IT crowd' you must see it.

 

[udg]

Hi Jake,

I googled for the show episodes but the best I found were some clips on YouTube. Full videos seems to be country-limited.
Anyway, thank you to let us know about this funny show.

Umberto

 

[charlesg]

Seeing Chit Chat is off-topic I'll throw this one in even though it is not really about computer support.

"These Duracell batteries don't work"
Uh-Huh. How long have you had them?
"Oh, about five months."
Uh-huh. Have you used them?
"Oh yes."
erm....
"Well it says on the battery that the expiry date is 2024."

 

[LucaMs]

Seeing Chit Chat is off-topic I'll throw this one in even though it is not really about computer support.

"These Duracell batteries don't work"
Uh-Huh. How long have you had them?
"Oh, about five months."
Uh-huh. Have you used them?
"Oh yes."
erm....
"Well it says on the battery that the expiry date is 2024."

He is right: it lacked the inscription:

"Once opened keep refrigerated" or "Once opened, store in the refrigerator"


P.S.

 

[KMatle]

Posted a link to my app on Facebook (with a comment "Android ONLY") to let the people try. Response: The link doesn't work on my iPhone

 

[hookshy]

I am testing app and I received a request to check a tv app ,
I told him I can not find the app upon app name and requested package name or app url on google play ,
and he send me his username and password related to his developer account together with his eclipse project !