Do we all have supportive partners for our b4x hobby?

Informatix

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A few years ago, I traded currencies and stock indices for my personal benefit. Everyday, on my spare time, I studied the markets and tried to code effective strategies for my trading robots. This was really addictive and very time consuming. Even with robots to manage my orders, I stayed for hours (at night, and sometimes at work) in front of the charts to see where the market was going and how much I was earning or losing. I was successful and it was even more addictive because of my growing bank account. After 2 years 1/2, one of my brokers offered me a job in a hedge fund (and explained me by the way how a broker earns money by betting on the loss of its customers). My wife was very reluctant to this idea because my main job is a stable source of income while this new job was a deep dive into uncertainty (since a significant part of my wage would have been based on the yearly result). I tried to convince her that it could be an excellent opportunity to make a lot of money quickly and stop working after a few years, but she did not accept the idea. I'm really glad of that today because she was right: this was not a job for me and it would have probably ruined our family life. We had a baby the same year and I realized that I was a social ghost. Not enough time for my wife, not enough time for my baby, not enough time for my friends (except the one who traded too). At a given time, I even wondered if I was really there for me too, because I was not happy. Too much tiredness. Too much stress. I was probably on the verge of losing more than money. And I'm glad that my wife and my baby opened my eyes.
Of course, my life took a turn there. After 3 lucrative years, I've decided to stop trading, definitely, and admitted that it was a destructive addiction. (Then I met B4A and this forum but it's another story. ;)) I never had a complaint of my wife about all the money we never earned because of this decision. I never had a complaint of my son about all the toys he never had. I'm less rich today that I could have been, but so happy.
Since a few years, I also reduced my programming activity at home to an ordinary activity like painting or playing piano (in fact, even less, because I prefer running than programming these times). It's probably the easiest way to make your hobby acceptable: "when you paint, I program, when you stop, I stop, and then we do something together."
 
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Peter Simpson

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I take it that you don't like EastEnders and Corrors then @andymc?

Joanne records all sort of TV shows on Virgin Media, then she watches most of them in the evenings. Sometimes I'll watch them with her even though they are not really my type of shows, '8 out of 10 cats', 'have I got news for you', 'mock the week' and tons more shows. I personally like the Discovery channel and factual documentaries, oh yes and movies, plenty of movies, Jo loves watching movies too though. When Jo starts watching dodgy TV shows, that's sometimes my key to grab my laptop, sit down next to her and do my thing ;)

Are you sure you don't like Corrors lol...
 
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canalrun

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Since this thread has gravitated a little toward TV, I'd like to mention a solution I have found.

When I'm developing and run into a problem, I will go watch TV, or spend time with the family for a few hours, then come back to developing.

I find that I either have a fresh perspective on the problem, or the solution will have come to me while I'm relaxing.

I lean toward documentaries also, but one series I found on Netflix by accident was Nurse Jackie. I would rate that as the best series I have seen in the last 10 years.

Barry.
 

LucaMs

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Do you have someone who:

cleans your home;
does the laundry;
buys all is needed;
cooks;
pays the bills (excluding your bank);
...

If yes, maybe this person would have the right to complain if you spend your free time developing :)
 

Peter Simpson

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Do you have someone who:
cleans your home;
does the laundry;
buys all is needed;
cooks;
pays the bills (excluding your bank);
...
If yes, maybe this person would have the right to complain if you spend your free time developing :)

cleans your home; 60/40 Joanne edges there
does the laundry; I do all my own washing and ironing of my laundry. I don't mix colours like Joanne and I iron my clothes perfect
buys all is needed; 50/50
cooks; 80/20 in my favour. Joanne will gladly say that I'm the better cook, plus I work from home where as Joanne commutes 80 miles per day for work.
By the time Joanne gets back from work, I'm usually cooking sometime up for dinner :)
 

LucaMs

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cleans your home; 60/40 Joanne edges there
does the laundry; I do all my own washing and ironing of my laundry. I don't mix colours like Joanne and I iron my clothes perfect
buys all is needed; 50/50
cooks; 80/20 in my favour. Joanne will gladly say that I'm the better cook, plus I work from home where as Joanne commutes 80 miles per day for work.
By the time Joanne gets back from work, I'm usually cooking sometime up for dinner :)
I hope she will read your post :p
 

andymc

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My household jobs:
Clean 3 bathrooms every weekend
Clean both cars every two weeks
Take bins out
Take compost bin out
Mow lawn
Hoover house 50/50
Make bed 50/50
Mop kitchen floor every week
Make her her morning Tea and evening fruit tea
Ironing 50/50
Dish washer duties 60/40 in my favour
I also do our son's bath and bedtime stories every night

So I think I've earnt some credits to work on games coding, last night this was from 10pm till 12:10am, my wife was already in bed before I started.
 

andymc

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...

Anche i ricchi piangono (Los ricos también lloran) (I don't know its english title; could be: "Rich people also weep")


Are you saying I have first world problems??? :) :)

I thought you were making a million dollars a month from your app?
 

Star-Dust

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I made an agreement with my wife, she does not develop software and does not publish App on Google Store and I, in return, do not clean home and do not deal with home affairs:D:D:D
 

Descartex

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I made an agreement with my wife, she does not develop software and does not publish App on Google Store and I, in return, do not clean home and do not deal with home affairs:D:D:D
Have you got any copy of this Agreement to share?
 

barx

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Do we all have supportive partners for our b4x hobby?

Simple Answer - No!

Makes it very difficult at times and as such my coding hobby took a back burner. Struggling to even find the time to get back up to speed now never mind do anyting new.
 

andymc

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JMW, yeah unfortunately even in 2017 programming is still 90% male. This goes for home and work (I work at a software developer company)
As for life balance with my coding hobby, my wife is better since the other day when I talked to her about this. I've said it will never be every night but I would like to aim at ten hours a week on it, so every other night for a few hours is fine. And I think she does realise it could be really helpful to us as family if my games do really well.
 

Computersmith64

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My wife works part time (generally 4 days per week in winter & 5-6 days in summer) & my full-time job is developing mobile apps (& some other projects on the side) - so she understands that a large part of our income is dependent on me doing what I do. Because she's usually up at 5am she tends to go to bed pretty early, so even though I spend all day working I will usually go back to it once she's in bed rather than sit in front of the TV.

I try to align my days off with the days that she's not working, but often find myself sneaking into my office to do some work. I also do stuff around the house (vacuuming, grooming the dogs, etc...) during my breaks when she's at work & I also mostly cook my own meals (she's vegan & I'm not) so she's not having to come home & cook & clean. I think she's generally OK with the amount of time I spend working, but will sometimes get a little annoyed when I get so engrossed in what I'm doing that I forget to eat, or end up dragging myself to bed at 2am.

- Colin.
 

DMW

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Those of You who have partners that accept or even support You are to be congratulated.

Until I got divorced it was always a source of conflict. It was only when the kids was ill that it was good that I stayed up during the nights. But it didn't mean anything in the long run. In the end it was one of the things that led to the divorce.

I think the best is if both are real nerds on something! Then we can understand each other perfectly well ;-)
At least, that's my experience I have today :)
 

Lahksman

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My wife is supportive of my hobby(s) as long as it doesn't affect our family time.

I'm lucky that I only need about 5 hours of sleep, so I do most of my programming at night when wife and son are sleeping.
Sometimes she asks what I'm working on, but once I try to explain it she usually turns around and walks away :D. She's not interested in technology at all and i don't think it's necessary. As long as you both respect each others personal time and hobby's there's no need for any conflict about this.
 
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