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how do you deal with death?
- Thread starter ilan
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So sad to read about your loss and the memories of others, my big brother died as he was getting changed to meet me for a drink, he was 50 years young, eleven years older than me but our bond was very strong, that was nearly thirty years ago and I still feel the pain, just glad I have lots of happy memories to remember, I can't imagine the pain that a parent gets losing a child x
I live in Kherson, Ukraine. I am surrounded by death everyday and it has visited our family in this war. My advise and what I have to do to keep myself sane is to see the positive of what the person did while alive because believe me, it can always be worse. Remember the good. It will take time. Sorry for your loss.
Hello Ilan,
my deepest condolences for your loss. Is it possible to give comfort with words? Not really I think, although it comes from the bottom of my heart. The same thing happened to me, because as a little boy I always wished I had a brother. He was on his way and then everything went terribly wrong. I've blocked it out now because it happened when I was a little boy. Over the years, I developed a deep friendhip to my best friend, he's now like a brother to me.
It's very hard to come to terms with it, time is the predator that hunts us down and eventually kills us. Yes, and it's deeply unfair. An old sick person agonises and no longer enjoys being alive. He is not allowed to go. Another young person has plans, dreams and accepts his responsibility as a family man, still has many years ahead of him and is taken off the playing field just like that.
His children and his wife are one way of coping with this. It doesn't matter whether you have a family or children yourself. Take care of his children too. They have stayed with you, they were and are a part of him. That's a nice way to come to terms with it. You will realise that. There will be days when you will recognise him in them. Look forward to these moments!
Don't be sad. It always goes on, even if the pain is overwhelming. Look forward and honour your brother!
my deepest condolences for your loss. Is it possible to give comfort with words? Not really I think, although it comes from the bottom of my heart. The same thing happened to me, because as a little boy I always wished I had a brother. He was on his way and then everything went terribly wrong. I've blocked it out now because it happened when I was a little boy. Over the years, I developed a deep friendhip to my best friend, he's now like a brother to me.
It's very hard to come to terms with it, time is the predator that hunts us down and eventually kills us. Yes, and it's deeply unfair. An old sick person agonises and no longer enjoys being alive. He is not allowed to go. Another young person has plans, dreams and accepts his responsibility as a family man, still has many years ahead of him and is taken off the playing field just like that.
His children and his wife are one way of coping with this. It doesn't matter whether you have a family or children yourself. Take care of his children too. They have stayed with you, they were and are a part of him. That's a nice way to come to terms with it. You will realise that. There will be days when you will recognise him in them. Look forward to these moments!
Don't be sad. It always goes on, even if the pain is overwhelming. Look forward and honour your brother!
Sorry for your pain.
Live your pain for a while. So, it will go out one day. After, keep your brother in memory, keep the best moments. I do this for my parents and grandparents. There are no words to help you, only, we can think of you and of your family even if we are far away.
Think you are never alone. Sharing your pain is a good thing because poeple can help you by these messages.
Live in Peace, breathe profondly and explore how you consider the death : enemy, friend, something strange, natural ? And your fear facing to this ?
Wise people say that thinking about death every day is a good way for our life. I think it's true. Sincerely
Live your pain for a while. So, it will go out one day. After, keep your brother in memory, keep the best moments. I do this for my parents and grandparents. There are no words to help you, only, we can think of you and of your family even if we are far away.
Think you are never alone. Sharing your pain is a good thing because poeple can help you by these messages.
Live in Peace, breathe profondly and explore how you consider the death : enemy, friend, something strange, natural ? And your fear facing to this ?
Wise people say that thinking about death every day is a good way for our life. I think it's true. Sincerely
I am very sorry for your loss...hi forum
1 month ago i lost my big brother. it was in the eve of the holy day for jewish people (yom kippur).
he died 1 week before his 46's birthday. he left 4 children and a wife.
there were no sign for it. what i understood is that the cause for his death was a main artery in his heart burst.
he was my big brother but he was so young. there is only 2,5 years between us.
i am still shocked that i will never see him again. this is something that is very hard for me to deal with.
it is normal that parents die when the are old but to bury your own brother that was so young is very hard.
i am still heart broken and i try to keep me busy so the thought go away but when you are in your bed before you go to sleep the thought come again and you need to deal with it.
don't take it for granted that you weak up in the morning. focus as much as you can on your family. everything else is vanity.
life is unpredictable.
I feel for you, I understand you since I also lost my brother 1.5 years ago and he was only 49 years old (was my BIG brother). And before my brother I lost my father, exactly 1 year ago... and before my father I lost my mother 2 years before my father... No it's not a joke and I'm not trying to make you laugh... I shared it here years ago and I got strength from all of you. And okay parents had their days... my brother?
There is nothing to fill the void of your loved ones. Yes you can "programming" without tomorrow. But then again your beloved brother will not be by your side, to fight, to play like you were children...
I feel for you...
I wish you to spend your life as happily as you can, with your children, your wife and to live the moments... what is life anyway? Just, simple moments..
We are by your side, stay strong!
Life has many deaths, has difficulties... but every day is a new day... and every smile of a child is a new birth... i am keeping that smiles... That is our "real" payment for every thing we are doing...
I am deeply sorry for your loss Ilan.
My deepest condolences.
Let me tell you that you have to let yourself and the people around you mourn for your brother. Do not stop it if you feel like doing this. We are tought from taudlers that as men we have to be tough and that we shouldn't shed any tears for everything. That is totally BS. As a psychologist said to an aunt of mine mourning is the natural way to say goodbye to your close one that was gone.
I, personally, lost my father at the age of 14. I felt quite sad but according to his words I stopped my self from shedding any tears. I totally regret it. After a while I found it comforting reading about parapsychology. It was a way to keep in touch with him.
My deepest condolences.
Let me tell you that you have to let yourself and the people around you mourn for your brother. Do not stop it if you feel like doing this. We are tought from taudlers that as men we have to be tough and that we shouldn't shed any tears for everything. That is totally BS. As a psychologist said to an aunt of mine mourning is the natural way to say goodbye to your close one that was gone.
I, personally, lost my father at the age of 14. I felt quite sad but according to his words I stopped my self from shedding any tears. I totally regret it. After a while I found it comforting reading about parapsychology. It was a way to keep in touch with him.
I wish your family and yourself safety, and I want peace in the world. Thailand does not discriminate between races and religions. Thai Buddhist people Thai Muslims Thai Christians can all live together. Everyone is generous to each other. Good wishes for each other. Thailand is friendly to all countries. Whether it is the United States, Russia, Ukraine, China, India,Israel, Iran and other countries
@ilan There are no words I can give you, that will fill the big hole the loss of your brother has left in your life. I can only send you my warm wishes and tell you that from personal experience that the grief eventually passes.
The enduring memories will be the happy ones that you shared with your brother, and you will know that those memories will remain with you forever. His soul lives on within those that loved him.
Sadly now I find myself at an age where I am going to far too many funerals, many of them folks younger than myself. I have long since drawn the conclusion that....
We are all of us...... Just passing through.
The enduring memories will be the happy ones that you shared with your brother, and you will know that those memories will remain with you forever. His soul lives on within those that loved him.
Sadly now I find myself at an age where I am going to far too many funerals, many of them folks younger than myself. I have long since drawn the conclusion that....
We are all of us...... Just passing through.